PROLOGUE

This blog reflects my journal entries from a short-term mission trip to Cape Town, South Africa in June, 2008. I went as part of a Mocha Club team to support the work of African Leadership – a Christian organization that trains Africans to become Christian leaders within the church and community in order to serve the spiritual and physical needs of fellow Africans.

Many people encouraged and supported me in this life-changing event and this blog is an attempt of making this experience not simply my own.

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE PHOTOS OF THIS TRIP.

This is dedicated to my teammates:
Amy (our heart); Geoffrey (our pastor); Katie (our refuge); Melissa (our passion); Nina (our wonderment); Susanna (our caregiver); Tami (our sweetness); and Tobi (our inspiration).

Team Mocha Club 2008 South Africa Mission Trip video from steve citerin on Vimeo.

DAY ONE – Friday June 6, 2008

Late night. Quiet plane. Somewhere over the Atlantic. Why am I here? I’m on my way to London in order to get to Cape Town, South Africa. My heart has placed me here. The Lord has drawn me there.

I’m 34, comfortable in life but uncomfortable in my spirit. I have not done enough for the cause of Christ. My whole life I turned my back to the concept of overseas missions work. The church of my youth lifted missionaries onto such a pedestal that it made me feel that any non-missionary wasn’t a good Christian. I so disagreed with this notion that I failed recognize the needful truth behind this false positioning.

In recent years, my worldview has expanded. I’ve come to learn more about the true needs in other countries and how blessed I am as an American. But there’s such need in the states, why go elsewhere? I now recognize that the poor here aren’t so poor comparatively to those in other nations. There are resources here available to those who desire to get help (an oversimplification, I realize). And that the multiplier effect of our resources applied to foreign lands can stretch support much further (micro-loans, for example).

I’m also going because I want to see firsthand this need. See this poverty, look upon the faces of those within its grip. I desire for my heart to break for humanity, yet also discover moments of joy and hope. I desire to lend a hand, make a connection, develop friendships and offer a glimmer of hope. I want to be disturbed. Rocked and shaken from my comfort zone. Break down the walls I’ve built around myself to keep anxiety, unpleasantness, or uneasiness away. This is very much a Matrix moment. I’m choosing the red pill and I’ve asked to experience the true reality – one that will cause me to stir for the rest of my life trying to figure out how to institute change.

Selfishly, I want an experience. I want to set foot on another continent, leave a bit of myself there and have it deposit something within me. I don’t want to be 40 or 50 years old and realize that I have lived solely for my own gain, security and comfort. I want it to sink in that this life isn’t about me. It isn’t about achieving, it’s about serving.

I have such high hopes for this trip, which I fear aren’t too lofty. I want to surrender my expectations and be completely receptive to whatever He has brought me to Africa to tell me. I desire clarity about the world and my role in it. I want to quit sitting on the fence…doing for self one moment, doing for God the next. Living in the in-between is dizzying and I want off. To borrow from author Donald Miller, I want to let go of the pen and allow God to write the story of my life.

I recognize the volume of the “I” statements in this entry. My desire is to decrease so that He might increase…in my thoughts and actions, plus in where I direct my energies and my resources. Lord, may Africa be a turning point in my life so that I may, in turn, point to you.

DAY THREE – Part 1 – Sunday, June 8, 2008 (morning)

We’re about to land in Cape Town after an 11 hour flight. Longest of my life. Thankfully, I was able to sleep for a good portion of it, unlike the London flight.

Soon I will step onto a new continent…for the second time in two days. Excitement builds. No anxiety, but hope for what is to be seen and experienced here.

London. We sped through that city on the 8+ hour layover he had. We got onto the tube, “minded the gap” and hopped into and out of many famous historic sites: Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, Piccadilly Circus, London Bridge, and London Tower. Wow. It’s a true historic city mixed with modern architecture in a fashion that works well together. Beautiful day too. We stumbled across a Christian band giving a performance at a festival in Piccadilly. Also we saw a practice run of a procession for the Queen’s birthday (next week) in front of the Palace. Onlookers said Prince Charles was there, but we never saw him. It was a great day, yet we’re all exhausted, especially Amy who received ridicule and kudos for hauling her soccer-ball-carrying “papoose” around the city all day long. The day was a bit of a tourist escape for a vacation that promises to be unlike any in the traditional sense.

We near landing in Cape Town. The orange sky announces sunrise over a mountainous terrain. I’m excited and prayerful for what lies ahead, trusting that the person who occupies my seat on the way back will be different.

Father, watch over us as we work to bring hope to these people. Allow us to represent you in a way befitting your grace. Keep us healthy. Keep us unified as a team and permit us to give freely of ourselves and advance the work of those permanently here in Cape Town.

DAY THREE – Part 2 -- Sunday, June 8, 2008 (evening)

Obvious statement alert: Cape Town in beautiful!!! Flying into the city you could see farming land neatly manicured leading into factory campuses. Buildings comprise a metropolis nestled between the mountains and the ocean. Elegant homes and expansive shantytown areas. It is topography as diverse and complex as the lives of those residing upon it.

Today, we meet Pastor Young Ohm – the director of African Leadership here in South Africa. We also meet Glory, Angela, Dong Su, Paul, Joy, Tobi, Jeff & Julie – all exceedingly kind and hospitable to us.

Upon arriving at the mission house in the township of Breckenfell where we’ll stay, the team settled in, briefly unpacked then swept off to hike Lion’s Den mountain. Situated to the east of Table Mountain – the iconic, largest mountain here – Lion’s Den is a bit more accessible and scalable. It was a majestic climb that wound around the mountain. We planted ourselves at the top for a bit, taking in the majestic sights of the ocean and the separated by this vast city and its beaches. We then visited the beach – breathtaking! Too cold to swim (it’s wintertime here, 50-60 degrees on average), but a beachside meal made me appreciate why Cape Town has been ranked one of the most desirable places in the world to live. A brief look at the tourism side of this place before we get exposed to its poverty and need. The team kept showing each other the myriad of great photos we have taken thus far, but I know that the best shots are still yet to come.

Pastor Ohm spoke to us tonight. It was part orientation, part sermon, but all originating from the heart of a man who has grown to love this city and its people from his native Korea. Two main points he shared: view people, especially those we’ll be working with, through Christ’s eyes. It is a request that humbles your spirit and guides you in the proper way to serve and interact with others. Secondly, live life with an eternal perspective, it centers you and keeps you mindful of the long-term meaning to our works and relationships and how differences truly are petty. He’s a great man, and I’m looking forward to working for him and learning from him. But for right now, my heavy eyelids reveal that lesson time will have to wait.

The team is beat. The long flights (9 + 11 hours) and hectic days have us fading fast. It is 10PM here, I’m at an internet café briefly letting people know that I’m here safe. Surfing the web holds little interest to me as I hope for this trip to take me far from normalcy. I’ve unplugged from my life back home for this time…and I’m happy for it.

DAY FOUR – Monday, June 9, 2008

A day like today is why I’m here. It started with a 7AM wake-up, a quick breakfast, then off to African Theological College in Khayelitsha – a township outside the city where the focus of our work will be done. I walk into the modest sanctuary where “He is exalted” (one of the few worship songs I can play confidently on guitar) is playing on CD – ironic, I don’t think so. (Random Khayelitsha fact: over 700,000 people live in its roughly 10x12km area. Churches serving this population are run mostly in homes by untrained leaders.)

We sing praises in both English and Xhosa (the “X” is pronounced with a click). It was poignant to realize that I’m in South Africa singing worship songs in many languages among people from all over the globe drawn together by this shared faith. This common belief is the only reason any of us would ever find ourselves in the same room together. Amazing how God works.

From there we go into orientation time where various leaders share about their ministries: pastoral college, children’s Sunday school, high school, sports (soccer & netball), women’s & auto mechanic ministries. I’m impressed by African Leadership’s diversity in its ministries, acting as a Christian United Way of sorts – developing and supporting the work of the church in this influential region in the future of Africa. They are not a church, but supply and feed them with resources and people so they can grow and meet community needs.

We drive into the heart of Mfuleni, one of the shanty town townships where we’ll build the pre-school. As we drive, we see modest homes put together with acquired materials (part zinc siding, wood, concrete – whatever is to be found). Every face we see greets us with a wave or thumbs up. So open and friendly with curiosity instead of suspicion (unlike what we’d be welcomed with in the states).

Entering a daycare center/pre-school for the first time, maybe 15+ kids greet us and ask to be picked up. I snap a picture of a couple on the camera. Then upon kneeling down to show the photo to them, I’m surrounded by all the kids laughing in wonderment at their own image. All the kids then jump up and form a line to perform a worship song to a cd track for us…the cuteness knows no limits. We later stop into two other centers greeted by similar warmth in each location. At one, we meet several lovely women sewing mats for sale (a sort of fair trade business supported by African Leadership). They laugh heartily as they try to teach us how to properly say “how are you” “my name is” “my last name is”, etc. in Xhosa.

We leave to visit the construction site in another area of the neighborhood. Greeted by a pile of sand waiting being moved and a roped off area with the beginnings of a ditch for the foundation. This will be a new daycare center/pre-school (or “kresh” in Xhosa) that will provide a safe place for kids to be left so parents may work and where they’ll learn about Christ.

We work a bit, and then it’s time to go on a prayer walk through the side alleys – introducing ourselves and informing the families about our 4PM kids service. I fail miserably at the limited Xhosa I have learned. Tobi, Melissa, Katie, Wanga and I trek into the depths of this neighborhood to be greeted with happy and intrigued faces. One guy asks which of these women is my wife, I reply “no wife” and receive a somewhat peculiar “ohh” response and look…tell me about it buddy. Another older teen named Solomon speaking good English walks up to me and asks where I’m from and why I’m here. He’s genuinely excited to hear America and gives me a big hug. We exchange about American cities he’s heard of and then he’s off to lift weights. I tell him we’ll be here all week and hope to see him again.

4PM, kids church. Duck, duck, goose is a big hit, two big circles of maybe 40+ kids each chasing each other around with moms looking on with laughter. Simon hutu (says), on the other hand, not so successful – lost in translation perhaps. They teach us a telephone type of game, and I’m immediately eliminated because of getting the words wrong. After some songs, we break into a skit about the Good Samaritan. I am double cast in the roles the thief and the rabbi (not to be confused). I later help summarize the moral of the story. Poignant moment #589 – sharing God’s love here with these kids at this time and place with the whole thing being translated into Xhosa, who would’ve thought I’d be here? We hand out treats to the kids and float back to the mission house on an indescribable high. Knowing tomorrow holds more of the same has never felt so invigorating.

DAY FIVE – Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Today was a heavy construction day. We shoveled more of the foundation sand piles into the structure (with much of it blowing back at us). We prayed for some governmental bureaucracy snafus that might cease the construction to be eliminated. I get to chat with Greg, a guy from the government inspecting our site – the spitting image of Barack Obama. He’s a nice guy, surprised that Americans are here pitching in. He genuinely wants this work to go forward, but is restricted by policies. He’s a musician on the side and angles to get my email address should he ever get to the states (note: it’s interesting that everyone here wants your email address...perhaps looking to build up an international rolodex of couches to crash on should they happen to be in the neighborhood?). We receive permission to continue with the work…and the shoveling gives way to measuring, cutting and nailing frames for the structure.

Geoffrey and I had the chance to talk with Larry today (an older Xhosa teenager who helps African Leadership and is doing construction and translating for us). He was telling us about the Xhosa tradition of becoming a man, being sent away from family where circumcision begins a month-long process of near solitude in a remote region of the country. What actually happens in this time is forbidden to be talked about, but all Xhosa men must go through this process to become a man in the eyes of the community. There is no avoiding it unless you choose disgrace to follow you throughout life. Ceremonial dress is worn upon return to notify all of your successful conversion into becoming a man. Wanga (another teen translator serving with us) will similarly leave to start this in a week. Larry is nervous, but also excited for his approaching time. I can’t possibly imagine this, but concede to him that he is already a man in my eyes.

At kids church, we do a craft where we create string bracelets with different color beads (each representing a biblical principle) for the kids. The skit today is about the prodigal son – I’m the dad and I give Geoffrey (the son) a great big swinging bear hug upon his return – the kids crack up at this. Poignant moment #723 – having 30 Xhosa kids reciting Romans 8:16 back to you…especially how God (“Thixo” in Xhosa) has that click in it. Gotta love it.

I felt the pride of being of use today. All the digging, the sawing, the hammering…it felt good to contribute to the team. Man secret time: we are empowered when we are of use. Let me retain this feeling.

DAY SIX – Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Such unbelievable experiences here. The words cannot keep up with the thoughts.

Today it rained, so we were unable to continue on building the “kresh”. Instead we went to a primary school where we were given access to three different 7th grade classes. Under the heading of “life studies”, we were open to share about the character of God as displayed through the fruits of the Spirit.

We started by introducing ourselves in Xhosa. I was last and mispronounced “igama lam ngu, Steve” and the kids burst into laughter. It totally broke the ice and I loved my unintended moment of being a class clown. (Funny moment #324: Katie mistakenly makes a point to the classroom by using the Spanish translation of Jesu Cristo and gives the kids two big thumbs up…the reply was silent, blank stares.)

We broke the 50 children into 9 teams and each was given a character trait and assigned to draw it and act out a scenario (thankfully, the children understood/spoke English). My group had “faithfulness” and they chose a scenario of telling a secret of smoking and the friend being faithful not to gossip the secret. The funny part was the child saying “if my parents find out, they will FREAK OUT.” Really, freak out?! Not my words at all, but funny to see catch phrases going global. My second class group had “self control” and they did a skit about some party scenario that I never fully understood.

In the third class, my team was five guys and we had “kindness”. I really felt like I connected with them…we were fellas after all. I taught them my cool (to me) snap hand shake and they taught me theirs. I was able to drive the point of kindness home by relating it to being a kind teammate on the soccer field. The best player isn’t always the better teammate and showing unselfishness/kindness on the team is a great way to demonstrate godly characteristics. They seemed to really get it and I gave them homework to be a good teammate next time they play ball. It was an amazing exchange – all within a public school!

After lunch, we went off to a community center that was housing 200+ foreign African refugees (largely from Zimbabwe) due to the recent xenophobic violence against them. We were there to have a worship service and hopefully offer inspiration. At first it was a tough crowd. Individuals were very warm to us, but the crowd was pensive. A few songs in and they were clapping, singing and dancing with us. I was asked to share my testimony and talk about Christ…what could I possibly say to these people in their circumstances? Be truthful and God will provide the words…and He did. I shared my story of how living for self is ultimately unfulfilling. I mentioned that we are all refugees in one sense – all away from our hopeful home in heaven, living out this brief time on earth. Our current difficult circumstances are a mere blink in the expanse of eternity and knowing Him provides a long-term perspective in which hope and joy are the promise. It was well received and later we sang more and had an altar call. We prayed for those who came forward (for hope, protection, bravery, obedience, and a kingdom perspective). Afterward, several longer conversations took place. One with Willard, an organizer of these people, who loves God, has such faith, loves his homeland and wants to show it to me, and amazingly knows that the people who do these horrible deeds against them don’t understand mankind’s interconnectivity or Christ’s demonstration of love. This was a remarkable perspective that many here shared…I don’t know how they do it. I found it ironic that the day started by educating students about character and the fruits of the Spirit, and it ended by offering encouragement to refugees who had been shown just the opposite of this character by older generations of these same kids. Lord, let these seeds find fertile ground.

A truly surreal day – being used by God to teach South African children and offer comfort and hope to refugees. Not bad for my first time out of the country. I feel small in His plan, but important in His works. Later, Pastor Ohm would wisely share that we are beautiful in our differences.

DAY SEVEN – Thursday, June 12, 2008

Today was an even earlier rise & shine. Out the door by 7AM to a local high school to pass out bookmarks we had made with encouraging Bible verses. The kids are entering exams now and we hoped to give hope along with sustenance with some candy bars. The kids were delighted as they entered the school grounds. Quickly we were outnumbered and running out of bars. It was crazy as kids grabbed for bars and engulfed us. We left frustrated by the potentially dangerous situation. But we circled up, prayed for the kids and for African Leadership to gain similar access to other high schools in the township.

From there we went back to the college to do a worship service and devotion time. I volunteered to share for the team. I talked about I Cor. 15:58 – why it’s my favorite verse and why it was the reason I was in Africa. I touched on the radical nature of the Christian faith. Though often promoted as safe and offering perpetual happiness, it truly is an 180 degree departure from the world’s ways. I shared how how the magnitude of the world’s needs can intimidate, but it should not stop us from realizing that God takes seemingly small instances of making a difference and combines them into a huge cumulative sum. It was a word to myself as much as it was for them. I marveled at the 30+ people in the room who just days ago were strangers and now they’re family members. Monday seems like a lifetime ago. Worship was amazing and I felt connected to God with renewed vigor.

We left then for more work on the pre-school. Building the side frames. Chris, a local guy who just wanted the help out did so, proved to be a great help. I managed to take a few good pictures of the kids who hang out with us throughout the day observing and interacting. There was a meaningful moment for me today…I looked up from driving in some nails and nearly finishing a frame. I paused for a second and it sunk in again where I was, what I was doing, and I felt very much like my dad’s son. I sensed that I was there representing him and knew that he was proud of me.

We then came back to the mission house for some well-needed rest & social time. Another outstanding meal was offered to us (we’ve been eating like royalty – tasty Korean, Brazilian, Xhosa, etc. meals). Testimonials were shared and I actually led worship for the group (poorly) on guitar. Yet another in a growing list of firsts for me on this trip.

It’s hard to imagine that we leave in one week from today and I’ve known my six (plus two) teammates for only one week – we have become a family unit. We bonded immediately, love one another, encourage each other, and openly appreciate our new relationships. This is not an unusual phenomenon for short term mission teams to experience, especially when you spend 24/7 with one another. Yet I’m told our team’s level of closeness is rare and I believe it.

I don’t want to think about one week from now, separating from my new brothers & sisters. I want instead to celebrate the beauty of relationships as one of God’s truly finest gifts to humanity.

Humorous Editorial Intermission; Funny Moment #432:
Here’s the scene, Geoffrey is trying to explain a game to the children (red light, green light perhaps). One energetic young boy who we’ve come to adore named Ludwa is on the receiving end of this priceless exchange. Let’s listen in…

Geoffrey: Do you speak English?
Ludwa: Yes
G: Do you understand me?
L: Yes
G: If I teach you a game, will you tell the other kids?
L: Yes
(Geoffrey offers five minutes of detailed game instruction, rules and strategic theory)
G: Do you understand the game?
L: Yes
G: Ok, go and tell the others.
L: Yes
G: No, you go now and tell the other kids how to play.
(Ludwa stands and gives an enthusiastic smile, revealing that “yes” is one of the only words he knows in English. Geoffrey scratches his head, wishing he had those five minutes back, wiser now for having learned a lesson in not asking yes/no questions.)

DAY EIGHT – Friday, July 13, 2008

Another chilly morning greeted us as we rose to participate in a high school assembly before morning classes. 200 or so boys & girls in maroon sweaters, white button-down shirts and slacks/skits look upon us in formation in the school courtyard. After a song by them, we are invited to speak. Tami shares her testimony. I encourage them to excel in life but be sure to “lay up treasures in heaven”, and Susanna inspires them to “let no man despise thy youth”. So attentive and respectful they were. We sing a “I love you lord” for them and went into our attempt at “Singabahambayo” – a historic South African worship/freedom song that gained popularity in the anti-apartheid movement. (here’s a video of us in action – I did the steady camera work. Um, ok, this isn’t us.) They all smiled when we actually knew it and joined in. We were whisked off for a brief word to the teachers and then onward to the construction site.

We got the frame up today! It looks like a building now (albeit a naked one). We were climbing all over that thing…20 feet up in the air pounding in nails. I haven’t climbed around like this since childhood and my aching knee reminds me so.

It’s fun to have interactions with the community members. Throughout the day they stop by and chat with us – there’s a buzz in Mfuleni about what we are doing. I also recognize faces of some kids now. They run up to us and give big hugs. There’s such enthusiasm to be touched, held, paid attention to – such abundant life spirit despite their surroundings.

We then left – exhausted – and went to watch soccer matches at Nelson Mandela Park in Khayelitsha. African Leadership does sports ministry (soccer and netball) and we met the leader Chris and Advocate an assistant. They use soccer to build community, offer an alternative to drugs/booze/etc. for local teens. We watched Larry & Wanga play – amazingly quick they were. Chris teased us by saying had we gotten here earlier the guys could’ve gotten to play. All for the best as it would’ve been both amazing & embarrassing all at once.

I’m still awaiting word from God about life purpose. Funny though how I’ve given three talks here about this topic, and I realize that I’m preaching to myself as much as anyone else. I pray this simple message seeps deep within me. I do know that this missions thing isn’t so bad after all. It could be the amazing new family that my teammates have become. It could be that we’ve been going strong from sunrise to sunset since we landed. But I’m not missing my routine, my comforts, or my culture at the moment. I’ve had no appointments, no meetings, and no obligations other than to serve my team, African Leadership and the people of South Africa. I rest so peacefully at night. I celebrate the blessing of this assurance.

DAY NINE – Saturday, June 13, 2008

Back at the site, we put the roof on. Pastor Ohm is jumping around this structure like a monkey, it’s hilarious. His cries of “push, push, push” and “stop, stop, stop” toward the girls passing long zinc panels up to us on the roof have me wondering if I’ve been transported to a hospital delivery room.

Poignant Moment # 932: After finishing up the roof, Geoffrey, Wanga and I plop down, legs dangling. We enjoy a beverage, the completed task and the miraculous view. We chat about women, life, sports…you know, guys stuff. The only thing missing was the scratching, belching, and perhaps a grill.

We return back to the mission house and I take Jeff & Julie’s dog Corey out to the park for some rough-housing. I shared my testimony with the group tonight (as we have been rotating each night). It also was my turn in the rotation for to receive expressions of encouragement from the group. Such amazing and humbling things they share. Philippians 2:5-8 comes to Tobi’s mind for me. In one word: wow.

DAY TEN – Sunday, June 14, 2008 (part 1)

It’s Sunday, so we went to church then went to the Cape Town warf retail district for lunch and shopping. Church was amazing. Held in a kresh just like the one we’re building. Other than us, about 30 people attend. 8 men, 18 women and the rest kids (random thought: why do men seemingly everywhere shirk their spiritual responsibilities?). Praise was mostly in Xhosa – call & response, but with a keyboardist who used a beat machine for percussion. It was unbelievable to be in this place, experiencing foreign tongues, but finding commonality in worshipping the same God. The message delivered was by a fiery woman (an African Theological College grad) who spoke on the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus. There was a translator (a nice Zulu guy), and they traded back & forth between the English & Xhosa. They asked us to introduce ourselves and we’re later grabbed out of our seats to dance during worship with others. It was unreal…I’ll never forget it.

I remarked at the team’s evening meeting that I learned two things today: the universality of God and the timelessness His Word – it’s as applicable today as it was 2000 years ago and perfectly right at home in Cleveland, Khayelitsha or anywhere. Only the Truth could be this ubiquitous.

Pastor Ohm talked to us tonight about Africa. He said there are three main areas of prayer need for this continent: its people are individualistic, they live in fear (ancestral worship, etc.), and they are not future-seeking (living only in the past or the present). He has a dream to have people in every time zone committed to praying for Africa at 10PM daily according to these three needs – a virtual 24/7 covering of prayer for Africa. Spread the word.

Poignant Moment #1054: Tobi told me I need to come back. At first I wondered if this was a line she feeds all the boys. But one of the many things I admire about her is that I have come to know that Tobi doesn’t speak solely for herself – it’s as if God speaks directly through her. In His mysterious way, God brought a doctor from Vancouver to sew into me in South Africa. A chord was struck within.

DAY TEN – Sunday, June 14, 2008 (part 2)

The city of Cape Town is pivotal for future of the continent. As like many U.S. cities, there is rampant poverty here right next to extreme wealth (complete with multiple Lamborghini sightings). We shopped in the warf retail district, a kind of fashion mall tourist area. It smacked of home. People in the latest fashions (but with a European flair) who perhaps have lived here their whole lives and likely never been to the places I have in the last week – instead choosing to remain blind to the needs of the people because it’s too messy, too uncomfortable or too convicting.

After perusing some African crafts and goods, taking some wacky pictures, racing Tobi backwards, etc., we zip back to the mission house. Abusing my shotgun seat DJ privileges, we rock out to my new jam all the way home (“Thembalami” by Amaryoni; get it on iTunes and join in).

We leave in three days. It makes me sad, but I try not to dwell on it. I’m hopeful for more life-changing/affirming experiences. Father, you have touched me in so many ways here, given me experiences few on this planet have shared, and revealed your love for your people. It took me coming to Africa to know you more fully. I don’t want to go home the same, to resort back to my old self. I don’t want to be complacent. I want my mind to dwell on your ways, on sharing your message, and on enabling your people. I want to “always give myself fully to the work of the Lord and know it is not in vain.” (I Cor. 15:58) I want to loosen the choking grip I hold on my destiny. I want to finally forfeit my life in order to truly live it. This is what Africa represents for me…so allow me represent for Africa.

DAY ELEVEN – Monday, June 16, 2008

We’re nearing the end of our time here. In some ways I can’t believe it. This has been the most extended, intense time I’ve had with God in my life. I feel so close to Him. Our group seems to have been in continual prayer (as we should be) throughout our time together; praying for health, safety, rest, the leadership, the kids, the missionaries, the community, for peace, purpose, revelation and revolution. I am renewed in my dedication to Him. This public blog is evidence of what was once internal becoming external. The more I see and experience, the more I realize that my treasures must be stored in heaven. God has revealed Himself to me here many times: in the eyes & smiles of the children; in the resilience and hope of the refugees; in the universal truth of His Word; in the companionship of His people; in the beauty of foreign tongues; in the bravery of Larry, Wanga & Costa – boldly living as Christian young men within this harsh society; and in the easiness of burdens shared by nine complete strangers when Christ is the foundation.

God is everywhere. He delights in us and desires for us to delight in Him. He is fair and good and worthy of praise. He is worthy to leave everything for or to acquire according to His purposes. I thank you Lord for giving me purpose – even if the picture is still being painted, I know the final design rests in your artful hands. I can have peace in this knowledge.

Today, we put the zinc siding on the pre-school. Exhausting, yet again, but it looks like a building now. We’ll put some final touches on it tomorrow and leave it to another group to do the final completion.

DAY TWELVE – Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Last day at the construction site. I spent most of the day cutting out windows…sparks and zinc shards flying everywhere.

Our final Sunday school time with the kids. The craft was to make crosses out of popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners – the kids loved them. We acted out Jesus calming the sea, played more games and sang more songs. We concluded by saying goodbye, promising them that they now have friends in America, that we’d continue to pray for them and that we love them. A few we love you too’s were offered back, serving as the final straw to our already breaking hearts. Our subtle use of “babayini” (goodbye) this time instead of our traditional “sabonana” (see you soon) carries a conclusive weight that resonates deep inside us all.

The group prayed for Larry as we would not see him after today. We gathered and laid hands on him, he was visibly moved. It was a meaningful moment for many. Later we circled inside the pre-school when we had accomplished all that we could with this last day. I can’t describe the pride within, the sense of accomplishment from where we started to how we will leave it. As we prayed, recognizing the finality of the moment, a tear fell from my eye into the sand floor that was to soon be covered with cement by another team. If I were to get sappy, I’d say that this was a external representation of what has happened inside me here…leaving a bit of myself in this place, on this continent. We all sign one of the window frames, so we can leave a lasting mark in this place. “Ubukumkani (for the kingdom), Team Mocha Club, June 2008” graces the frame along with our signatures. Knowing children will see the names of those who played a small role in this dwelling delights the soul.

Later that night, we would share dinner at the “Stumble Inn” hostile where another church group from Nashville was staying while here to support African Leadership on the heels of our impending departure. Pastor Ohm asked each of us to speak to this new group from the heart. In doing so, I was touched by our team’s unity…how far we had come, the riotous inside jokes we all share, and our ability to accurately read each other. In my mind’s eye, I watched us talk to them from outside myself…I saw an amazingly tight group, in His hands, in His will, and in His family. It’s my turn and I advise them to soak everything in. Appreciate being here. And listen to Africa…for it will talk to you.

Back at the mission house, we learn how to stay connected while back home. Our group can sustain this same pre-school for just $250/month or one child can attend this pre-school (complete with meals) for $30/month. Why I work to earn a paycheck back home becomes clearer.

DAY THIRTEEN – Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Last day in Cape Town. We fly out in early evening, so we have the day to see some more sites. Paul and Angela take us to visit Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope (the southernmost point of the continent). Words cannot describe the beauty – even despite the overcast day – so pictures will have to suffice.

Hilarious Moment #489: Paul has his chips jacked by a baboon! The play-by-play recap: returning to the car from the brief hike, Paul stands and grabs some chips from the car. A stealth-like ninja baboon spies on his prey from a near vantage point. Sizing up the adversary, the baboon sneaks around a van, then leaps onto Paul’s leg reaching for his chips. Paul kicks and wisely throws the bag, and the baboon tracks it down and races away…salty treat in hand. Serving as proof positive that the “baboons are dangerous and attracted by food” sign wasn’t just a funny photo op for tourists.

From there we stopped by a famed shoreline where penguins congregate. It is here that Katie, Geoffrey and I ponder if penguins have knees. Encyclopedia no where to be found, we decide that penguins have thigh/ankles or “thankles”. It’s just one of many inside jokes that have cracked us up incessantly during this trip (not to forgotten: fake English accents, chocolate vegetables, inopportune flatulence, ice skating leaps, excessive use of “ya’ll”, the tub of prawns lunch, the “please no hooting” traffic sign, and so on). Laughter, man, what a gift!

We then went back into Cape Town to the village market were we all try our hand a bartering for deals on African crafts, paintings, jewelry, etc. I bought a couple of paintings for the homestead and enjoyed the haggling process. This is not a place someone who cannot say no…as you’re constantly solicited at every tent you pass. There were amazing things to buy however, but many paintings were of majestic natural scenes, safari animals, or of more remote African village customs. I wanted something representative of my experience in Khayelitsha. I found something nice that celebrates the life there…it’ll hopefully act as a warm reminder of my time here.

Off to the airport. We were to have dinner as a group with those staying behind, but delays in checking in squashed that. We prayed as a group, Geoffrey shared meaningful sentiments. Pastor Ohm comments that the heavy rain that is now befalling Cape Town is South Africa’s tears because of our departure. He then sends us off charged to be missionaries…wherever life takes us and then hands us each charms in the shape of Africa with “for the kingdom” inscribed on the back. We the hurry off to the gate and the ensuing rush does not afford us the teary, gushing goodbyes that seemed appropriate.

DAY FOURTEEN – Thursday, July 19, 2008

Somewhere over the Atlantic (again). I reflect on where I’ve been and where I’m going. Katie asked me my greatest fear in going home, to which I reply going back to the status quo. Lord, if I have not changed through this experience, then I have failed myself…and failed you.

I have seen the beauty of your creation, through majestic sunsets and beautiful landscapes that Africa uniquely possesses. But even more powerfully in the beauty of those who know You…the warm “molo” greetings, the enthusiastic hugs from children, the dedication of missionaries, the praises of your churches and the hope from these people.

I endeavor to not take these things for granted. Each blessing needs to be shared. I must give of myself until I am the last thing on my mind. I will not pacify myself with the trivial. I will commit myself to living for the kingdom….to initiate or enable change and understanding.

Daunting goals. I recognize the potential for these words to haunt me throughout life, to be thrown back at me, and to shake me out of comfort or complacency. And though I may not know what I’m asking for…I naively ask for it. I aspire to inspire. A wise teacher (Tony Omoijuanfo) once preached “it is never somebody else’s job if God brings it to your attention.” Father, permit me the bravery to act on what you call to my mind. Let it start with a renewed attitude of giving; of my talents, my resources, my time, my very being to the purposes of honoring you and furthering your kingdom. Big or small…size of scale is in your hands.

Africa… you have spoken to me. You have redefined my perspective on life, love and hope. You have deposited yourself within me. My prayer is that I may be used to return a mere portion of your investment back to you.

EPILOGUE -- Monday June 23, 2008

Departing Dallas. I’ve grown accustomed to the close proximity of airline seatbacks. However, this one doesn’t contain a TV with the movies, music and the digital map tracking our flight’s progress. Therefore, I’m here with my thoughts.

Today’s flight is on a particularly clear day. I peer down at humanity below wondering about how a big God could care to love us all individually. We go about our lives, building, farming, diverting waterways, etc.…liberally carving into this earth according to our purposes; one creation exercising dominion over another. We are stewards of what God has provided us, completely free to act wisely or poorly…to our benefit or detriment. I stop to reflect on that in a personal manner. Have I been a faithful steward of what God has created within me? Have I chosen wisely or poorly?

Cleveland I return home to you. You hold for me relationships, possessions, activities, commitments. You offer normalcy, routine and familiarity. You’re seductive in many ways. And like the television I mindlessly consume, you pacify. I recall one of the goals I had for this Africa trip: to ask why…and never be fully satisfied with the answer. I have asked why of the world’s conditions and I pray that the search for a satisfying answer would not be quenched by the lure of comfort and routine. Formerly, I found safety in my comfort zone, a retreat from the world, a place to recharge. But in Africa I was shown that dwelling in God’s will for your life offers all the peace and revitalization anyone could require. My friend Aaron said something brilliant as I recapped my trip to him. He succinctly summarized the internal high of the short-term missionary experience by saying “we dedicate the days of these trips to being completely unselfish and we wonder why we feel so good at the end of it”. Huh. Amen to that.

Lord, may my refuge be found in You. May my purpose be found in being a servant. And may by comfort zone fade into uncharted territory.